There are many different things in life that i just don't understand. HAHA, it's funny really. Like how come the weather can be INCREDIBLE all morning, and then as soon as i get outside to enjoy it, the clouds come out and i am cold? Then it seems that once i go inside to warm myself, the sun comes out again. Perhaps Mother Nature has a beef with me that she wants to settle. Well i'm waiting...Bring it. How come it can be so difficult for some to learn how to drive stick shift, but on my first time ever trying i get it right away and don't stall the car once? How come it always seems like when one door in life closes, two more open? What is it about certain music or songs that affect a person so deeply? Why is it that i can listen to a song over and over and over and love every word that is sung, yet at the same time feel like the very song that i love is torturing me inside? It is so curious how music is such a huge part of my life and a huge part of who i am. I grew up loving all different kinds of music and much of that stems from my dancing. Classical to NIN. Then there was the big brother who had so much influence on who i am today that if he were to have told me to paint my face green and tell everyone that i was a frog, i would have done it with no questions asked. (i love you Pook) He has introduced more music to me than anyone i know. There is just something about it. I can't get past this one song as of recent. (0% interest..lyrics posted below a few days ago) If you've seen the movie Garden State and know the part in the movie where Large listens to the Shins and it changes his life....then you'll know what i mean when i say that this song is changing my life. It just...changes me. Makes me think. Makes me feel. It torments and sooths me at the same time. There are so many different people walking into and out of my life at such a fast pace these days that i can hardly focus on anything. it's like the song from WICKED says "Because i knew you, i have been changed for good." The change isn't done. It hurts. It feels wonderful. It confuses me. It angers me. It keeps me going and sometimes it stops me dead in my tracks. Surprises are around every corner and there are times that i don't feel like i can handle it, but there is always a light at the end of the tunnel. Most of the time when i feel my weakest someone steps quickly into my life and helps me through.
One of my favorite quotes goes a little something like this "May today there be peace within. May you trust in your highest power that you are exactly where you are meant to be." it's a good quote to think about...i think.

Well, i've said quite a lot tonight. My mind is racing and there is so much to think about. i think i'll take a nap. i have an engagement at midnight tonight...I CAN'T WAIT! it's a secret, but perhaps someday you'll know about it!


You left your thumbprint inside me now for months it seems
But mine only brushes your soft surface
And somehow,
Somehow it leaves me listless
My tongue curls under my lips oh oh yes

So I can't speak to tell you of the months before I met you